When Motherhood Feels Overwhelming — And Finding Help Changes Everything

🌧️ When It’s Cold Outside — And Cold Inside

2/16/2026

Yesterday I was tired. Frustrated. Cold — above all, cold.

It’s been super rainy here on our farm in California. Rain for days. Mud everywhere. Wet clothes piling up faster than I can wash them.

We went to the park in the morning, but after about an hour the rain started and we had to leave. And when you have an 8-month-old and a toddler, being inside all day can feel like emotional survival mode.

The truth?

I’m struggling with motherhood.

Not with loving my children. Never that.

But with the load of it all.

The laundry.

The dishes.

The tantrums.

The diapers.

The constant refereeing because my baby can’t defend himself yet.

I feel like the police all day long.

And while I’m deeply grateful we live on land and not in an apartment — especially on days like this — my nervous system still feels dysregulated.

We live in about 1,000 square feet with:

2 little boys

5–6 big dogs

4 indoor cats

Toys everywhere

It’s a lot.

I lose my patience sometimes.

And I don’t like that version of me.

I’m overstimulated. Touched out. Needed by everyone — humans and animals alike. I crave quiet. Prayer. Journaling. Meditation. Even just 30 minutes to breathe.

💔 When You’re at the End of Your Patience

2/17/2026

Today feels different.

Still tired. But lighter.

Because I think I finally found the right babysitter.

If you’ve ever tried to find childcare off a muddy dirt road in the middle of rainy season, you know it’s not simple.

I tried:

Local Facebook groups

The Nextdoor app

An in-home daycare

People who canceled last minute

Someone who wanted $40/hour

Someone who stopped showing up

It was exhausting.

Daycare didn’t feel right. The boys cried. The nap schedules didn’t align. Four-hour minimums felt too long for babies who just needed 2–3 hours to adjust.

I felt desperate.

I want to work on my website.

I want to write my book.

I want to create.

But when the kids nap, I either clean or collapse.

And deep down I knew:

I don’t just need work time.

I need nervous system reset time.

🌤️ The Relief of Support

This time, I tried something new. I booked through an app.

A young girl with kind eyes showed up today — in the rain — parked down the road and walked up our muddy hill.

That alone told me something.

The boys are playing with her right now.

I did journaling.

Breathwork.

Tapping.

Meditation.

And I feel like myself again.

Not perfect. Not fully rested. But regulated.

Finding help doesn’t make you weak.

It makes you sustainable.

🤍 A Reminder for the Overwhelmed Mama

If you’re in a small space.

If you feel overstimulated.

If you’re losing patience more than you’d like.

It doesn’t mean you’re a bad mother.

It means you need support.

And sometimes support doesn’t come from family.

Sometimes you have to search for it.

Try again.

And again.

And again.

Until relief walks up your muddy road.

Amen.