Where Is My Village?

February 10, 2026

Hi, my name is Cristina. I am a stay-at-home mom to two beautiful boys whom I love more than anything. I am deeply grateful that God sent me the right husband to build this family with. I love my husband, my children, and my life.

And still… this season has been really hard.

Loving your life doesn’t mean it isn’t exhausting. It doesn’t mean you aren’t struggling. And it definitely doesn’t mean you don’t need help.

Motherhood Without a Village

Most of my family doesn’t live nearby, and while my husband’s family is about an hour away, support with the kids is limited. His dad lives on our property but isn’t very involved with children. The result is that most days, I feel helpless and frustrated—not because I don’t love my kids, but because I have no one to step in so I can take a short break.

A break looks simple:

A nap

A shower without rushing

A trip to the store alone

A moment to breathe

But for the past two years, those moments have been almost nonexistent.

Doing It All, All the Time

My husband works from home in his shop and is glued to his computer most of the day. When he finishes work, he moves on to farm responsibilities—taking care of animals, fixing things, handling outdoor tasks. By the end of the day, there’s very little energy left for the kids or the house.

I don’t want to complain, but the truth is that this life is demanding. The laundry never ends. The dishes pile up daily. My children need my attention constantly. Pregnancy, birth, and postpartum have taken everything out of me—and I’ve been navigating most of it alone, without a mother, sister, or close family nearby.

I have local friends, but everyone is busy with jobs and kids of their own. And while I understand that, it still feels incredibly isolating.

Some days, it honestly feels like being a prisoner in your own life.

The Guilt of Asking for Help

Lately, I’ve had to ask my husband to take care of both kids for at least an hour so I can rest. Even that doesn’t happen often. My youngest is eight months old and very attached to me. He doesn’t go to many people, and I think because I’m home, it’s easy to assume the kids are automatically my responsibility.

Before motherhood, I worked as a Registered Nurse. Some days I think about going back to work, but the idea of leaving my children for 8–12 hours a day fills me with fear. I feel torn between who I was and who I am becoming.

I’ve tried so hard to find help—messaging people, posting on Facebook and Nextdoor, interviewing babysitters. Many were flaky or simply not the right fit. I even tried a small in-home daycare, but my anxiety was so high that I couldn’t relax. There were moments when I had to rush back because both kids were crying.

Even when my mother-in-law helps, the distance and my younger son’s unfamiliarity make it difficult. One time, we tried to go out to dinner, but we had to turn around because he wouldn’t stop crying. We ended up eating drive-through food on the way home.

Choosing Support Over Perfection

I do have cleaning help every two weeks, and that’s been a blessing—but I recently realized something important:

A spotless house is not as valuable as my mental health.

I would rather have a babysitter for a few hours twice a week than a deeply cleaned house every two weeks. I can clean while my kids are awake. What I can’t do is rest while they need me constantly.

That realization changed everything.

I’m done feeling guilty for needing help. I’m done feeling ashamed for wanting space. I’m done telling myself that needing support makes me a bad mom.

I will figure out pumping. I will help my baby learn to take a bottle. I will hire the support I need.

Because I want to write.

I want to build my business from home.

I want to stay present with my kids without losing myself.

Later That Day…

After taking a nap, I felt better. I FaceTimed my sister while we both cleaned our homes, and it helped more than I expected. The house isn’t perfect, and the kids made a mess again—but that’s okay.

My husband took the kids for a bit in the afternoon. My youngest is teething, and it’s been intense. Being needed constantly—day and night—is a heavy burden to carry.

I’ve realized that because I’m loving, gentle, and accommodating, it’s easy for others to forget that I need rest too. I don’t need to scream or break down anymore. I can calmly say, “I need a break.” And that is enough.

Another babysitter canceled last minute today, which was disappointing—but someone else reached out and will be coming tomorrow. She sounds promising. I’m hopeful.

I also asked a woman who occasionally helps with our laundry to teach me how to manage it better. She’s incredible at organization, and she’ll be coming next week to help me learn systems that actually work for our family.

I don’t need to do everything alone. I just need support to get there.

You Are Not Alone

Being a mother and a wife is constant work—day and night. The work never ends, but it is deeply meaningful and rewarding. Still, that doesn’t mean it’s easy.

I know there are so many other mothers out there who feel this way. If this resonates with you, please know: you are not weak for needing help. You are human.

If you relate to this, I’d love to hear from you. Let me know what other topics you’d like me to write about.

With love,

Cristina